N-Day

No not D-day, but N-day!

 

I tested 4 times this week the last one this morning- all negative. I was having a bunch of cramping on Wednesday,  but that went away yesterday and I felt great. No spotting at all so I began feeling optimistic again. I wasn’t going to go into the clinic to get my HCG because I was staying at my Mom’s house this week (J. was out of town all week for work and I didn’t want to be home alone). My clinic is on my way to work when I’m at home – completely out of the way at my mom’s house.

 

I was sitting at school and I just couldn’t take it anymore I had to know what the HCG test would show. So I called my clinic to see if they could get me in while my kids were at music. This would mean that I wouldn’t get any prep time, but I thought it would be worth it to get that wonderful phone call I have been waiting 2 years for.

 

She called about 2 and half hours later. I was taking my class out to the playground for their field day. She said it was negative. Ugh!

 

I got off the phone and needed to be smiling and laughing with my students and in front of their parents! I seriously almost ran into a low tree branch because I wasn’t thinking straight. Luckily the parents, gym teachers and high school helpers run the field day for the kids so I was able to hide in my classroom for a couple of hours.

 

So what’s next. . . we said we were going to go through the IVF process this summer. This really is the right timing for that because of all the appointments, hormones and procedures. Doing that at the beginning of a new school year wouldn’t work out very well. But I really can’t even get myself thinking about that right now.

 

At the beginning of my 2ww I thought for sure I would be on the phone with the RE clinic scheduling the IVF for as soon as we could get it started if this time didn’t work, but I think I will wait until Monday. I need the weekend to be sad over the loss of this cycle before I can start planning for the next.