Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Announcement and Showers

Last night J. came home and told me of an announcement he received at work. A co-worker who had been struggling with infertility said that he and his wife were pregnant. They had tried 2 unsuccessful IVF cycles and got pregnant on a "break" on their own. Silly doctors! He seemed very cautious last night about telling me. Obviously since we found out about our failed attempt on Monday he was right in being cautious. I was fine. Some how I can take it easier to hear about couples who have struggled as much or more than we have than someone who was off the pill for a month or so. But, when J. got home today he shared with me that when this co-worker made the official announcement to the entire office he felt that pain of jealousy and hurt that it wasn't us making the announcement. This is the first time he has felt this way. I sympathized with him and said "it sucks, doesn't it?" I wouldn't wish these feelings on anyone and I'm sorry he is going through it. But, I am partially thinking that he will understand me and my feelings better now that he has experienced the same pain from an announcement.

Today was our annual baby/wedding shower at school. We honor and celebrate everyone in the school on one day. Last year my grade level had to plan the event - Ugh! This year I was happy I didn't have to be a part of it. I put my donation into the envelope for the gifts when they came around. I used the quiet time in my classroom to do some planning. About a half hour into the party one of my dear co-workers who knows what we have been going through brought me a cup of punch and a piece of cake. I apologized for not attending and she said, "don't think a second thought about it. I know it must be hard on you that is why I brought the cake to you." She is the BEST!!!! The cake was really good too!

I went on a run after school today. The cysts are sore to run with so it was more of a run/walk. But, I made it around the lake we live by - about 3 miles round trip from our house. I need to do that more. I feel great and I bet I will sleep good tonight - the red wine I'm sipping with help that too! :-)


  1. Ugh, sorry your husband felt jealous and hurt. You are probably right that the experience will likely make him more sympathetic to your own similar feelings in future.

    The same thing you related in this post happened to some friends of mine: conceived naturally on a "break" cycle after two failed IVFs. They also got pregnant on accident again when their "miracle" was about four months old. So they went from having no babies to having two who are a little over thirteen months apart!

    It's crazy how that sometimes happens. . .


  2. That coworker sounds fabulous. And, I'm sorry your dh felt that pain but am glad he will have a better understanding of what you are feeling.



  3. Understanding is never a bad thing. Hang in there and just keep the communication open. That was a hard lesson for me to learn with the wife during the IF process.

    Mr. Shelby (from iclw)

  4. My husband never seems to feel jealous or hurt by other people's announcements. I wish he would, a bit, so he could understand how I feel.

    You're very lucky to have such a nice coworker. And yummmmmm, cake.

  5. Sorry your husband was having a rough time at can be so difficult feeling "happy" for others, yet feeling pangs of jealousy at the same time.

    What a supportive co-worker you have!

    Kudos to you on a 3 mile run!


  6. that sounds like my hubbs...sometimes he will point out things about other peoples kids that he doesnt like and will later feel bad cause (he tells me) that he is so jealous of thier successes and how the parents take it for granted. I can understand not wanting to be involved in the party...but me...i couldnt stay away if i wanted to (it would hurt me inside to think about my empty womb) but i couldnt stand not watching the miracle and beauty of other people that got lucky

    ♥ ac